IT would appear that we are a nation of split personalities. First, the long-standing lament that we’re not taking retirement planning seriously enough was reinforced this week with research from HSBC suggesting that it drops to the bottom of the list of priorities for couples with families.

Around 44 per cent of couples with children are failing to save for retirement as other needs come first, the bank found, compared with 33 per cent of childless couples.

But more emotionally charged figures suggest that we are in fact dreading our retirement years, suffering sleepless nights and daily fears that the money will run out.

As a High Court battle to protect public sector pensions from being linked to a lower measure of inflation hots up this week, research from the online retirement planning service RetireEasy has found that far from looking forward to an idyllic retirement, the majority have overwhelmingly negative views of our post-work years to the point of being consumed.

The study of 50-to-70 year olds not only found that almost 80 per cent worried about the financial future but that, for 14 per cent, it was a daily preoccupation.

Women in this demographic tend to worry more about retirement income than men; even though the vast majority are in a relationship, men have a wider range of assets under their name. But with current divorce rates, more than one in five women and more than one in ten men are single.

The fear is well founded, as women are far less likely to have been involved in any long-term financial planning, with less than a third saying they took responsibility for managing the “bigger” financial decisions whilst married, according to data from Tesco Bank.

Prior to divorce, a quarter of all these over 50-something women admit that they had never considered savings options, a third had never applied for a mortgage and one in ten had no financial products or accounts in their name. Worryingly though, Friends Life recently found that only 61 per cent of women agree that “Getting your financial advice is a good idea even for people who are married”. Not – let’s be very clear – that anyone is suggesting for a minute that women should only engage more with their money for the fear of being without a husband.

“Part of the answer has to be that both women and men have to take more responsibility for their retirement planning,” says Dr Ros Altmann, director of Saga and government advisor on savings, pensions and retirement. “But while women have tried to look after themselves, the hits they are experiencing now with government policies, annuity rates and high inflation has had a greater proportional effect on their relatively smaller pension savings.”

When this age group started their careers they were disadvantaged by a pension system that assumed they would be able to rely on a husband’s pension. But with the current divorce rates, women really must engage in financial planning.

Regardless of gender though, the wringing of hands is all very well but there is no easy fix and the simple reality is that the norm will have to change.

“The closer people get to retirement the greater the sense of realism about their position,” says retiree Richard Collinson, who recently launched the RetireEasy tool with his wife, Naomi. “The expectation is lower than for previous generations, but people just don’t know when the money will run out. To take the fear away, people need better knowledge of what their retirement will look like and be able to manage their assets to achieve a more comfortable figure and be reassured by that.”

If their future was financially secure, RetireEasy found the majority of people would spend more, while four out of ten would divide their extra cash between spending more and giving more to their families.

“Those sleepless nights are right if you are relying on a pension – if you’re relying on markets to deliver performance that you know in your heart of hearts isn’t realistic,” adds Altmann.

But does this really need to be a negative story? “Retirees really need to think about a more flexible approach and more need to consider options like a part-time job. But this is actually a positive message,” she adds. “At 65 you’re no longer old, you no longer need to disengage with society and you may live another 35 years, so take control of your life.”