Tony Watts OBE reviews “YOU: Part Two”, an insightful (and entertaining) new book on “thriving in the second half of your life” by Campbell and Jane Macpherson.
“Be yourself; everyone else is taken”
Oscar Wilde was famous for many things, not least his memorable epigrams; and the one above is quoted in a new book targeted at all of us who are either in (or entering) what can kindly be described as the “second half of our lives”.
It’s a particularly poignant quote as Wilde himself never reached his 50s. Just imagine what he might have achieved with the benefit of a couple of extra decades, and applying the wisdom accrued in that time…
The aptness of Wilde’s witty aphorism really strikes home reading this book, as its leitmotif is the precept that in our later years we can not only build upon what we’ve achieved and learned to date, but regularly review and reinvent ourselves too. Milestone ages like 50, 55, 60 and 65 are often points in time to reflect and analyse our past experiences and emotions in the light of our current knowledge; but what we should also be doing is looking forward too… and this book handily covers all the bases in that respect.
The book is the combined effort of a husband and wife team who bring two different perspectives to the party, While Campbell puts his professional background in business and change management into the mix, Jane – after her own successful career in marketing – has spent her most recent years as a therapist and teaching yoga.
The chapter “Menopause vs MenoPorschs” is a prime example of where this dual perspective works so neatly. While Jane discusses menopause from her own experience and shares how she has helped many of her clients cope with and embrace this most profound of changes. Campbell then contrasts it with the paler male mid-life crisis which is nevertheless so real for so many men.
Dealing with change
It’s a fascinating amalgam of perspectives that lends itself to looking at all aspects of our lives: from our finances and careers through to our relationships, physical wellbeing and mental health. It describes the emotions we all go through when confronted by significant change, because let’s face it, our Part Two will be full of change: some of these changes
will be anticipated, some will arrive unannounced, some will be good, some definitely won’t
– and we will have to embrace and deal with all of them if wish to thrive. We are no longer at the start of our journey, all before us, but instead dealing with issues such as ageism, ageing relatives and cementing our financial security into later life.
The sections on finance and work – particularly the renaissance careers that so many older people embrace in their 50s, 60s and beyond – are particularly strong, not least the step-by-step guide to setting up your own business by harnessing the skills you have accumulated.
Critically, the book is overwhelmingly positive about the changes taking place in our bodies, minds and social positions. With the right attitude, runs the book’s narrative, the second half of our lives can be as enjoyable and rewarding as the first – perhaps even more so – and some excellent examplars are drawn upon. The key to achieving that is what the Macphersons have termed “radical acceptance”, which we should leverage to forge forward with what we can do with our lives in the future rather than fall back on regrets about what we can’t.
Acceptance and contentment
Those of you who have ever encountered the “acceptance and commitment” approach used to help survivors of major health conditions such as stroke and cancer will recognise the benefit of coming to terms with what we can no longer do and maximising what we can. YOU: Part Two neatly yokes “acceptance” together with “contentment”, and that is a powerful combination which helps explain why – for so many older people – our later years can be amongst the most satisfying and rewarding.
The book explores – with some excellent examples – the routes those such as sports stars took when (after retiring at a relatively early age) they were forced to reinvent themselves… accepting change and harnessing their talents and experience in a different direction.
One of the ideas explored in the book is the “Midlife Review”, a topic close to my own heart having co-authored a book on the concept. And the Macphersons have taken that idea onto the next level, examining all of the ways in which we can use reaching midlife (whatever that might mean!) to take stock and plan the next 10, 20, 30 years of our lives: years that not everyone in the past had the privilege to enjoy…
YOU: Part Two by Campbell and Jane Macpherson is available from online book stores priced £14.99.
Photo courtesy of Andrew Crowley/Sunday Telegraph
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